The only time I had to kill someone

Let me start off by reassuring you that while I did get paid to murder someone, I donated the money to a well-known and respected charity.

Wait, that's my premise? I thought of that two whiskeys ago, but I got distracted watching episodes of Yacht Rock online. I think the new guy on The Daily Show, Wyatt Cenac, played James Ingram in the last one.

Anyway, I'll tell the murder-for-hire story some other goddamn day.