Movies are about to be great again

Where have I been? my audience has been asking for the past week.
Well, I say to both of you, I've been busy. Busy developing a film production company with my good friend M.Wing.

We will be fully self-contained: writing, producing, casting, shooting, editing, scoring, promoting, distributing, award-accepting.

Do we know anything about the film business? As I told my saintly grandmother when she asked the same question, fuck no. But I've seen Weird Science nearly a 30 times, so I think I've got the hang of it.

Of course, our first step will be to learn how to operate a goddamn camcorder. Them things has a lotta buttons. Our second step will be to write our Oscar speeches.

Mine will start like this:

I'd like to thank God for original sin, without which, hardcore porn never would have been given its own Oscar category here in the futuristic year of 2010. But I'd like to blame God for allowing the creation of the movie Original Sin that, while giving us a good overhead shot of Angelina Jolie filled up with Antonio's Banderas, was a fucking horrible movie. And I'd like to again thank God for the inspiration that comes from shit like "Original Sin" and makes us realize that we will never be the worst filmmakers out there.

And so forth.

We have a lot of work to do before any of this actually comes to fruition. And you, readers, have a lot of taste to develop if you're going to enjoy our films. Get to work!