I won the lottery!

Probably.

I bought tickets, and as the saying goes, "If you're in it, you mos def win it."

Here's a representation of one of the tickets I bought.




And here's a representation of me when I collect my winnings:





On the count of three, I want you start sucking up to your soon-to-be-rich-and-superior friend.

1...

2...

3!



You fucking peasant.