Apologies to Jon Bon Jovi

In my previous post, I left the impression that his cameo at a Bruce Springsteen concert was, in fact, a curse. That could not be further from the truth. Mr. Jovi, uhhhh... I mean Mr. Jonjovi... Mr. Bon Benji... whatever, goddamn it, is legend in his own right.

I grew up listening to Bon Jovi, like any good Gen X American. The coolest of our tribe will say that stuff is wack and claim they were listening to Sonic Youth, Echo and the Bunnymen, and Brian Eno or something. As if I should feel ashamed for listening to Bon Jovi, Billy Ocean, Huey Lews and the News, and the soundtrack to Beverly Hills Cop I & II.

The truth is Bon Jovi rocked the 80s. And not just the sexual fantasies of your older sister. Or gay brother. Or divorced mother. I'm a-talkin' about everyone who loved 80s mainstream radio unconditionally, including the morning zoos, the late-night request-a-thons, and the sleazy DJs who made appearances at the mall or skating rink to seemingly score underage tail. Those were the fuckin' days. Ronald Reagan was a god, and dissent was unheard of. We didn't trouble ourselves with things like secret wars in Afghanistan. Some secrets are meant to be kept. We only had time to rock out to Motley Crue and Def Leppard and rap out to Run-DMC and the Beastie Boys.

I had some jokes, but I got distracted by the videos on fucking YouTube. What was my point? Oh... Bon Jovi kicks ass. He even kicks ass solo: