I miss the days

I miss the days when it didn't seem like much was riding on the presidential election. Remember how much fun we had in 1992 when the race was between a Republican dud, a hillbilly and a crazy Texan firing his guns in the air? And again in 1996 when Bob Dole ate Viagra like popcorn, went around chasing a teen Britney Spears with his rigid cock and then staining blue dresses and blaming Bill Clinton? What a prankster! We laughed about that for years.

Even 2000 was a ride down a lazy river as we thought about which candidate we would want to drink beer and snort coke with. But things went sour when the Supreme Court didn't believe the ballots, and nothing has been the same since. The Democrats were determined to win the next one no matter what. Realizing that, the president, who was suddenly tasked with leading the world through a healing process after 9-11, thought better of it and decided the healing would have to wait. It's kind of like if... Actually, it's not like anything. Anything at all. It's disgustingly incomparable and reprehensible. I mean really groundbreaking subhuman behavior. And I feel like I'm besmirching the good name of subhumans.

Anyway, my point is that as much as Bill and Hildog want us to believe that a drawn-out race to the nomination is great for democracy and great for the country, it's not. The only way it is in any way positive is that the Dems sure as shit won't allow this to happen again.

[pause while i fetch a beer]

Damn. No beer. This must be some kind of "cold turkey" rehab.

My real point is that there's nothing like seeing the two Democrats in their worst light so far while Johnny Mac gets a free ride even though he's 103 years old and doesn't know the difference between Sunnis and Shiites. I'm not well-versed on the topic either, but I ain't running for president at an age when I should be tombstone shopping.

I also miss other days though. Like back when fried chicken was seen as good for the heart.