The kind of school shootings everyone can enjoy

I'm proud to be from a region of Texas that includes this community:

HARROLD, Texas (AP) -- A tiny Texas school district will allow teachers and staff members to carry concealed firearms to protect against school shootings, provided the gun-toting employees follow certain requirements.

The small community of Harrold in north Texas is a 30-minute drive from the Wilbarger County Sheriff's Office, leaving students and teachers without protection, said David Thweatt, superintendent of the Harrold Independent School District. The lone campus of the 110-student district sits near a heavily traveled highway, which could make it a target, he argued.


I predict an exponential increase in apples for the teachers.

If the teachers in my schools had possessed guns, there would have been daily bloodbaths. Or at least 8th-grader Brandon Bacon would have thought twice about calling science teacher/Vietnam vet Mr. Briscoe a "commie" and challenging him to a fight in the hall. And Aaron Larson may have been the victim of more than a good choking at the hands of sometimes-unhinged history teacher Mr. Blow. This was all in junior high. I'd hate to think about what would have gone down in high school when there was at least one war vet who was prone to flashbacks during class.

On the plus side, maybe I would be desensitized enough to keep from crying every time I see someone get a paper cut.