What was your situation when you first noticed your symptoms?

I dumb, but I'm not stupid. Well, that's not true. I'm pretty fucking stupid, but I not completely brain dead. That may not be true either. But I still know some of their tricks. I know the kinds of questions they ask and what they're looking for. I've seen it. I've heard it. I've read it. I know how to give them what they want, which is what they think I want. Or what they think I don't know that I want yet. They think I'll discover what they think I want by accident. By coming at it from an unexpected angle. Gradual epiphany. If that's possible. Reeducation. Retraining the brain. Learning about myself, as if I haven't asked myself every question ever created. They think the burden is on me to be honest and to trust them and be comfortable in their environment. But I'm only comfortable in my environment. And they're not welcome in my environment. If I can lie to myself and believe it, I can lie to them and not give a fuck. What good does that do? How am I helping myself if that's my attitude? Am I my own worst enemy? Everyone is. But do I scheme diabolically against myself? Or is that just on the surface, and I'm really joining forces with me behind my back to self-destruct? I'd launch an internal investigation, but all of me is on my payroll. None of me can be trusted. Bubbling under my pale, pathetic skin is a pool of pure scalding evil. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm crazy. Crazy can produce greatness.

See?