Monday, August 18, 2008

Last night on Earth

I don't mean to alarm you, but there's a tiny lizard in my apartment. He's no bigger than the head of a disposable razor, but he has a murderous glint in his too-small-too-see-eyes. I've tried everything. I've stood on a chair. I've hot-stepped into my room and waited to hear the front door open and close as he left. But nothing. Undoubtedly, I will wake up in the middle of the night as he feasts on my throat flesh.

I feel like I just received this pre-bedtime advice from Homer [NOTE: Best Buy neither sponsors nor is happy to be associated with this blog]:

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