snow blog post: early draft

Snowflakes fell like giant white unstained bedsheets. Quickly, I grabbed my digital camera and snapped some shots.
[attach empty boxes with white backgrounds to make the rubes who read this shit think that either the snow was really thick or that you fucked up the attachments. either way, you get the last laugh at these assholes!]

The heartless corporation I work for received a heart transplant after some dude's fatal car crash in the icy slush, so they let us out early. The drive home was precarious, but I got a few pics of the traffic.
[look up something mildly amusing on the Internet to use as traffic shot. Flinstones cars maybe? don't think too hard. save the best joke for the last paragraph.]

I got home just in time to vomit up the bad shellfish I had at lunch. [try to photoshop an unattractive celebrity coming out of your mouth as you heave into toilet. if necessary, take weekend photoshop tutorial.]

I learned to make a hot toddy with household products, MacGyver style.
[dig up corpse of Richard Dean Anderson and pose body with household items. on the off chance that he's still alive and working in Hollywood, change reference to Mr. Wizard, who is most definitely dead.]

All in all, it was a good day. And I hope that work is canceled tomorrow so I can spend some time on my favorite hobbies.
[link to sites on woodworking, fishing, stamp-collecting, juggling, tossing salads (food), tossing salads (non-food)]

[return to traffic paragraph and come up with better joke pic due to weak last paragraph.]