I was in line at 6:45 a.m. this morning, making me the 5th person to vote at the polling location and 1st in my precinct. And just like that it was over, with no assurance that my candidate would win. Democratic presidential candidate, that is. Because the good lord knows I wasn't prepared for the other offices on the ballot. So for everyone else I just voted for ethnic-sounding names and women. If that doesn't get me laid...
My choice for top gun is Barack Obama, who I've been calling Balack Obama much to the chagrin of liberals everywhere. But I feel like if we take the mockery focus away from his middle and last names, we can get past the whole murderous dictator and Muslim terrorist thing and get back to old-fashioned American racism.
Meanwhile, my proudest moment of being a Texas Democrat came this morning when I stood behind a 50-year-old man with an AC/DC "Highway to Hell" beanie. It was a nod to the fact that no matter who we vote for, we're riding this political experiment called America all the way to Satan's doorstep. But we'll rock the whole way down.
Listen to This: The Race To Ban Abortion
2 years ago
2 comments:
You're a great American, as they say on the Hannity radio show.
I was trying to get in the head of a Hillary voter and I'm conviced that they must just like mean, old ladies in pantsuits. Me, I get flashbacks to an awful previous boss whose high-heels clicking in the hallway would send me into a panic. Good thing us employees conspired against her and had her carried out on a rail, not unlike the scene in Ol Brother Where Art Thou.
What do you think Angus has in his bookbag? 2,000 picks? The greatest short band in history!
I talked to my mom, right before the primary. She's supporting Clinton.
As for me and my house, we will serve Jehovah. I mean, Jay-hova. I mean, Hov.
Post a Comment