East bound and down, loaded up and truckin'

I had a long way to go and a short time to get there. I was on the horn to Guitar Man when the Christmas lights kicked on.

"Hey, Guitar Man, you got your ears on, good buddy? You know who that is? That's Mr. Evil Knievel. He snuck in my back door, son, when I wasn't lookin'. You better flip-flop back here and gimme' a hand, son, or we gonna be in a heap of trouble. Please roger that transmission!"

"Roger that, Outlaw. I just passed another Kojak with a Kodak. This place is crawling with bears, where the hell are you?"

"Ten miles from Nowhere, Texas."

"I'll be right there."

And all of that happened except that I pulled over and took my ticket so obsequiously it probably had Burt Reynolds spinning in his grave.