I was trying to watch tonight's debate, but I'm too goddamn nervous. I gave next month's rent to Barack Obama, and I feel like Tom Brokaw is sandbagging him a bit. And as old, frail, incoherent and awkward McCain appears on the stage, I'm afraid his campaign's ramped-up sleaze tactics are gonna prevail somehow.
So I'm taking a break to brainstorm bumper sticker ideas for my new business: a bumper sticker ideas business. I call it Ideas for Slogans That Go On Bumper Stickers, Inc. It took me a week to trim the name to something manageable.
Here's what I've got so far:
My other car is actually this car (because why do I need two cars?).
Copy editors do it using good grammar.
My boss is a Jewish carpenter named Saul Brooks.
Nobama is not a word, idiots.
It's a child, not a choice. Or is it?
If you can read this, have you read Where the Red Fern Grows? Good book.
Life's a bitch, and so are you. For real. I find you unpleasant. Bitch-like, if you will.
I'd rather be masturbating. Oh wait. I am.
My child is an honor student. He's on your daughter like... dammit. I fucked that up.
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2 comments:
All are winners, but especially the Nobama one. But especially the masturbating one.
I think you could just stick with "Slogans That Go" for your company name... and still get the same point across.
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