The new Indiana Jones is so bad that I won't even say it's full title. I choose to believe it doesn't exist. Temple of Doom is usually considered the worst of the three, but I have a soft spot for that film. Maybe because the main bad guy kinda looks like Abe Vigoda. Plus, it's heads and shoulders above the new one.
The latest looks cool for the most part. And the ideas and sets and effects are just fine. But the overall package... Jesus. I wanted to cry when I came out of the theater. I've loved the series since the beginning. Indy is a great character (though ripped off from old adventure serials and Allan Quatermain), and the movies were jam-packed with excitement and fun.
So what went wrong here? If I were taking a guess, I'd say, Spielberg and Lucas. Turns out, when you combine two mediocre "talents" who have long since lost the energy that hid their lack of originality, you don't get double the mediocrity. You get a heaping pile of embarrassing garbage.
It's not a believability factor. None of the movies have been believable. I mean, Ark of the Covenant? Holy Grail? God? Pure fantasy. And this time, you get aliens. Or saucermen. Or interdimensional beings. Or whatever they wanna call 'em. And I can dig that, considering the two main men behind this flick and their lifelong fascination with sci-fi. Yet I won't hesitate to call this one of the worst movies in recent history. Denholm Elliott is spinning in his grave.
Maybe that's a little harsh. So let me backtrack (my favorite way to track). If you're the type of person who can find an ounce of joy in everything, the type who really enjoys life and can put a positive spin on any situation, if you're just generally happy... this movie will make you want to have your genitals bitten off by feral dogs just to make you temporarily forget you saw it.
But let's take a moment to harken back to better days:
Listen to This: The Race To Ban Abortion
2 years ago
1 comment:
Oh, yes. I watched it Friday. For the first 15 minutes it was almost like it was a SNL parody of the original. The Russian lady with little, round glasses? It was plain silly. It did get better as it went on, but it wasn't what I would call good. Space aliens? Buried in ruins? A crystal skull of a space alien that makes you crazy looking at it? Man-eating ants that looked like they came from the set of The Mummy? yes, not good.
Post a Comment