Sarah Palin: The Sean Hannity Interview (Part I)

At the top of the Hannity & Colmes show Wednesday night, American hero Sean Hannity declared, "No topic is off limits." He was of course talking about his interview with the Republican nominee for vice president, Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin. Hannity snagged the first cable interview with Palin since Sen. John McCain announced her as his running mate for the White House. Here now is the transcript of the first part of the two-part interview as broadcast on the Fox News Channel:

Hannity: Thank you, Gov. Palin, for being with us today.

Palin: Oh, it's my pleasure.

Hannity: Let's get right to it. You describe yourself as a reformer. What will you do to shake up Washington?

Palin: I'm a Washington outsider, and I'm proud of it. And I'm proud to be Sen. John McCain's partner. He is not afraid to ruffle feathers, and neither am I.

Hannity: Oh yeah. That's nice. Could you... could you say that again?

Palin: Which part?

Hannity: The feathers thing. But just say it about you. Don't say the other guy's name.

Palin: Oh, OK. I'm not afraid to ruffle feathers, Sean.

Hannity: Yeah. Oh yeah, that's it. I like when you say my name.

Palin: Sean, where is your right hand? I can't see it.

Hannity: I've only got one hand. Lost the other in a tragic... ummm... accident. Alan Colmes gnawed it off. He's a zombie corpse.

Palin: Now wait there, Sean. I shook your right hand when we met earlier for rehearsal. Is your hand... down your pants?

Hannity: Just give me a minute. Talk about how you stood up to your own party in Alaska.

Palin: You bet. I stand up to corruption wherever I see it. And I went in there knowing that I was going to ruffle some feathers, and--

Hannity: OH GOD! OH... OH... oh... oh, never mind. I thought that was it. Dammit.

Palin: Sean, I see what you're doing. It's no reason to be embarrassed. Would it help if I gave you a little tug? I've got a bottle of moose oil in my purse.

Hannity: No, that's alright. It's just not the same as it was with George W.

Palin: C'mon, Sean. I can be more to you than he ever could. You need a woman's touch.

Hannity: If I wanted a woman's touch, I'd let Geraldo Rivera suck me off again. I mean, I like the way the 'stache tickles, but...

Palin: I'm sorry, Sean. I'm really, really sorry.

Hannity: It's not your fault, Sarah. Thanks for trying. Let's move on...


Part two of this revealing and riveting interview can be seen Thursday night on Hannity & Colmes (9 p.m. ET). Check you local listings.