1. I was going to donate to the Obama campaign, but I decided to use that money to lay down a bet. However, the bet is on his campaign. If he wins, I win, and then I'll split the winnings with him.
2. Turned on my TV to find myself graced with the unfortunate 2007 "film" Redline. How did they get A-list talent like Tim Matheson to sign on for this? Then I realized it's directed by the guy who did End Game, starring Cuba Gooding Jr. and Angie Harmon, and all questions were answered.
3. I've done 'bout had enough of people seeing Jesus in things. Tortillas. Trees. Rabbit fur. And now, one of the dumbest things ever: a water stain on the ceiling of a weight-loss center. But it's not the stupid people who think they see Jesus who piss me off. It's the dumb-fuck news organizations that keep covering these non-stories. Personally, I see a fucking water stain on a ceiling tile. But if I really stretch my imagination, I see my great-uncle Chester touching me in places that made me cry when I was 7 years old. Of course, he told me he was Jesus too.
Listen to This: The Race To Ban Abortion
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