D-O-double-G-Y D-O-double-G, you see

I'm thinking about getting my first dog in 4.5 years. Wait. I'm not getting my first dog 4.5 years from now. I mean, this will be the first dog I've had in 4.5 years. But I don't know if I'm ready. I'm pretty sure I've written about the houseplants I watched wither day after day and how I took satisfaction in it. And the good lord know that the dog is the first to be eaten during hard times. And I've been known to quit jobs just so I can suffer hard times and eat a delicious-looking dog. But besides all of that, there's my cold, cold heart. I barely have enough love in me to feed myself. Then a dependent pet is added to the mix? I may not be capable of caring for another living being, and then it might be me who gets eaten. So I don't know what to do.

Still it would be nice to have something around that can learn to dial 911.

Here's one little girl I'm calling about.