Notes

The all-new me starts Tuesday. I'm talking diet and exercise. And that's not all. I'm also going to eat better and be more active. ...
Actually, I guess that was all.

I made a cameo appearance in Austin this weekend. Coincidentally, former President Bill Clinton was also in town. One coincidence is that it was Presidents Day weekend, and I was voted "most likely to be President" when I was a senior in high school. But the main coincidence is that I work on the assembly line of a company that makes vagina-flavored cigars.

My roommate gets back Friday after a month-long absence to record with his band. I'll be glad when he gets back because I can give back the gun I borrowed from him. I wouldn't need the gun, but killing spiders by stepping on them doesn't always work if the spider is quick. Or the stepper is a slow, fat cracker.

I'm glad Sports Illustrated does a swimsuit issue because I like to keep up with fashion. But I wrote them a letter requesting that they not waste valuable pages on bodypainting and strategically placed sand dollars. Those are impractical ideas, and summer is too close around the corner to be fooling around.

Fuck all this. I'm going to bed.